Imagine living in a world where every interaction feels like a potential threat, where chaos and danger lurk around every corner. This is the world Joshua Elyashiv invites readers into in his memoir Privilege Lost. Through his detailing of events, Elyashiv transports us to a place where privacy is a luxury, and violence is a constant companion. Yet, amidst the brutality, there are moments of unexpected camaraderie and levity, such as the joyous escapism found in Dungeons and Dragons sessions. In this interview, we journey through the highs and lows of Elyashiv’s story, and gain more creative insights about his book.
What could you share to help the reader understand the environment you describe in Privilege Lost?
In my book, I provide descriptions so rich and vivid that you can smell and taste what I smelled and tasted. I do not want to give too much away, because then you would have no reason to read my book. I 
will say that there was a cacophony of sound at all times, always present and always chaotic. It was not something you could learn to love like jazz, but you also could not get away from it. The heat was also something that was constant and inescapable. It was like wearing a tuxedo in a sauna 24/7 for five years. You had to always be on guard, alert, assuming that even the most friendly and innocent interactions was a set up for being hurt or victimized. The nice guards were the most dangerous, because they would get you to let your guard down. There was no privacy, ever. If anyone thought the high school locker room was bad or that you had no privacy in prison, well that was grade school, and this was graduate level lack of privacy. Not while bathing, dressing, sleeping, etc… more horrible was that there was usually someone present 2 feet away whenever you had to defecate. They could not leave, or you could not leave and had to sit in the 7’x11’ room with them while they used the toilet.
If readers could choose a specific chapter or moment from your memoir to explore in more detail, which one would you recommend, and why?
If I had to suggest that the readers choose a specific moment from my memoir to explore in more detail, I would choose the moments where I was playing DND. The stories that come out of those role-playing encounters are all awesome, show the humanity that we clung to even in the darkest moments, and how we managed to create levity and wholesome positivity even when we had nothing. Those moments were filled with smiles, laughter, creativity, and brought out the best in each of us, while connecting us in a manner that ignored racial, religious, educational, economic, cultural, ethnic, sexual and age differences. This is one of the only things which I have continued after returning home. I still host a regular game night to share this connection with others.
Develop an interactive timeline showcasing key events in your memoir. Share details, anecdotes, or reflections related to that particular moment.
- Awakening: Joshua knows this is a mistake that is about to be resolved. Joshua meets with his attorney and is forced to accept that this is not a bad dream. Who is Joshua, why did he dream of being a tough guy, and how did he get into this dark place?
- The Price of Biscuits: Joshua finds that he has the courage and fortitude to fight other grown men outside of a dojo. The apathy of not fearing death removes the hesitation that normal people experience prior to engaging in violent behaviors. The mentality of “What more can they do to me? Lock me up?” swells inside of Joshua, making the darkness look inside.
- Death Warrant: This is the moment where Joshua realizes that law enforcement is not interested in enforcing laws, has no interest in truth or justice, and does not exist to protect anyone other than themselves. Joshua is violently assaulted, and learns that letting law enforcement kill him would have been a better decision than defending himself.
- Maddie: Joshua experiences his first true heartbreak and learns that there is a darkness inside him. Prior to this heartbreak, Joshua had never cheated, never considered infidelity, and saw truth and integrity as absolute and black/white. This is where Joshua first learns of the gray area.
- Police Impersonators: Joshua develops a compulsive need to prove himself worthy of respect. He needs to contribute in a meaningful way, and perhaps welcomed Agent Williams more warmly and blindly than he should have due to his need to impress the US Government and feel that he is doing something noteworthy and as full of honor as he would have had his active-duty service not been cut short.
- The Homicidal Roommate: A convicted murder and sociopath is placed in the cell with Joshua to kill him, and an unlikely friendship ensues. Joshua confronts and lets go of his fear of death. Instead of fearing death, Joshua welcomes it, wants it, and the tremendous freedom that comes with apathy is first experienced.
- Tighten Up: Like the twilight zone, 5 years starts looking like a long tunnel that just keeps getting longer. Joshua realizes that violence is going to be a part of everyday life for the indefinite future and learns that bigotry and racism is not just something seen on television but is alive and real. Joshua discovers that telling the truth can be just as bad as lying, and sometimes it is better to say nothing and just observe.
- My Name Is Sin: Joshua meets a shot caller in Century and has his first experiences with prison tattoos, white supremacists, and contraband. This is where Joshua learns not to judge a book by its cover, that there are some things he will not automatically understand, and that this environment is so vastly different from anything he has ever experienced as to be another planet. Joshua is shocked that prison has its own politics, and that you can get killed for a flip phone.
- ACI-Seagulls and Sugar Daddies: Joshua suffers the realization that the officers enjoy watching inmates hurt each other, just like the squid games or roman gladiators. Joshua realizes that he might die here, or suffer something worse such as rape, and that there will not be anyone who intervene to stop it or protect him. Joshua discovers Dungeons and Dragons, learning to embrace fantasy roleplaying to mentally escape, and the joys of making things with your hands.
- Dad and Dangerous Music: Joshua is taught survival is harder when you care about other people, such as family. Joshua finds that the fear of loss is the most terrifying fear of all, and that being powerless is the absolute worst feeling anyone can ever experience.
- Polk-Chapel Bands and Child Molesters: Joshua starts to see the light at the end of the tunnel. A new fear is learned, the fear that anything could happen to prevent Joshua from reaching the end of this nightmare. This is also where Joshua learns that possibly the worst part of prison is the monotony and boredom, rather than the violence.
- Crash Dummies and Loan Sharks: Joshua gets a job working in laundry, sets up a business as a loan shark, gets robbed, and finds his rhythm. This is where Joshua learns that finding a routine and keeping to it minimizes the boredom and allows the time to go by faster. This growth creates a trauma-based personality trait where Joshua actively avoids non-productive activity or downtime and carries this mentality out into the free world.
- Vet Dorms and Big Storms: Hurricane Irma slams into Florida, and war ensues; Joshua and all the other veterans are moved to a condemned building to reside permanently. The men with life sentences teach Joshua that suffering is optional. If Joshua does not stand up for himself, no one else will, and those with power or predatory nature will always take advantage of other’s passive nature.
- Epilogue: Freedom tastes different for those who have experienced losing it. Joshua is defended by men who will never be free, thereby ensuring that he will. Joshua’s goodbyes are surprisingly heartfelt, and the fears of prison follow him into freedom.
Share a particularly adrenaline-pumping moment from your memoir.
The opening scene is probably the most adrenaline pumping moment. It was the most intense series of moments for me. While it is only 2 pages of the book, it was my life for a full year of the memoir. I spent a year in solitary confinement, being beaten three times per day, receiving one slice of stale wonder bread every 2 weeks, being forced to drink from the toilet and more. I knew when the beatings were coming because like a bad horror film, the guards would whistle as they approached. That is a blind fear, adrenaline loaded knowing what was coming but also that you could not escape or avoid it. There was no hope or light in the darkness during that year, except for my little buddy Fred. Fred was a cockroach. You should read my book to find out how an educated man ends up best friends with a cockroach.
Curate a themed playlist that corresponds to different phases or emotions in your memoir.
AWAKENING
What I Know-JEEW
Hero of War-Rise Against
45-Shinedown
Supermassive Black Hole-Muse
Born Free-Kid Rock
THE PRICE OF BISCUITS
Hurt-Johnny Cash
I Want To Break Free-Queen
I Wanna Be Sedated-Ramones
Black Skinhead-Kanye West
We Will Rock You-Queen
DEATH WARRANT
Bother-Stone Sour
Through the Glass-Stone Sour
I Remember-Five Finger Death Punch
Nothing Else Matters-Metallica
Snuff-Slipknot
MADDIE
I Will Always Love You-Whitney Houston
She Fucking Hates ME
My Own Worst Enemy-LIT
Angels Fall-Breaking Benjamin
Hold On-Good Charlotte
POLICE IMPERSONATORS
One Last Breath-Creed
Mockingbird-Eminem
She Could Be You-Shawn Hlookoff
Somebody That I Used To Know-Gotye
Bleeding Out-Imagine Dragons
THE HOMICIDAL ROOMATE
Don’t Try Suicide-Queen
Ghost-Badflower
Self-Conclusion-The Spill Canvas
Will To Death-John Fruschianti
Crawling-Linkin Park
TIGHTEN UP
Bodies-Drowning Pool
Riot-Ritchie Kotzen
We Are The Champions-Queen
The Trooper-Iron Maiden
Break Stuff-Limp Bizkit
MY NAME IS SIN
Under the Bridge-RHCP
The Anthem-Good Charlotte
Tubthumping-Chumbawamba
Shoot To Thrill-AC/DC
Blind-Korn
ACI-SEAGULS AND SUGAR DADDIES
Kung Fu Fighting-Thin Izzy
Riot-Three Days Grace
We Didn’t Start the Fire-Billy Joel
Best I Ever Had-Vertical Horizon
Freedom-Rage against the MAchine
DADS AND DANGEROUS MUSIC
How To Save A Life-The Fray
My Sacrifice-Creed
The Background-Third Eye Blind
Angel-Sarah McLachlan
Tears Don’t Fall-Bullet for My Valentine
POLK-CHAPEL BANDS AND CHILD MOLESTERS
Red House-Jimi Hendrix
Mama Said Knock You Out-LL Cool J
Them Changes-Thundercat
Another One Bites the Dust-Queen
Seven Nation Army-The White Stripes
CRASH DUMMIES AND LOAN SHARKS
Sound OF Madness-Shinedown
Girls-Eminem
Last Resort-Papa Roach
Robot Rock-Daft Punk
Rock You Like A Hurricane-Scorpions
VETDORMS AND BIG STORMS
Everybody Hurts-R.E.M.
Folsom Prison Blues-Johnny Cash
Immigrant Song-Led Zeppelin
Thunderstruck-AC/DC
Fly Away-Lenny Kravitz
EPILOGUE:
Second Chance-Shinedown
Driving towards the Daylight-Joe Bonamassa
No Rain-Blind Melon
Simple Man Lynyrd Skynyrd
Fortunate Son-Creedence Clearwater Revival
Fighter-Christina Aguilera
Find the Author
Privilege Lost
Many nice young upper-middle class white boys have dreamed about being the ultimate bad-ass. Few have been forced to prove it. For straight-A student and suburban Jewish boy Joshua Elyashiv, the dream of being tough and invincible, like his heroes Jason Bourne and Bruce Lee to name just a few, was so overwhelming that he convinced his parents to put him through military school where he became a decorated martial arts pro.
Then, through a fluke chain of events that Joshua never could have predicted, he was arrested and sentenced to 18 months in prison for a clerical error. After a brutal confrontation with a violent guard, the sentence was extended to five years, hard time. Worst of all, his father cut off all contact.
For five relentless years, Joshua was forced to defend himself against some of the toughest, most ruthless men in the world. Incredibly, he survived-and never gave up the desperate fight to prove to his father that he was innocent. Even more incredibly, along the way, Joshua learned the true meaning of strength-inner and spiritual-and discovered that empathy, compassion, and knowing when to walk away from a conflict is the purest form of strength.
PRIVILEGE LOST is the true first-hand account of an “everyday nice guy” who had to fight for his life among some of the most violent and dangerous men alive, in some of the grimmest cages in the world. This gripping memoir explores the horrific violence he endured, traversing the bridge between adrenaline-pumping life and death moments and those deeply introspective agonies where Joshua came face to face with the reality behind his fantasies.
Along the way, he learned that true kindness can come from the most broken souls, and that so much of what we call justice is really just smoke and mirrors to protect those with power and privilege. With humor and pathos, PRIVILEGE LOST looks across economic, cultural, racial, and religious boundaries with wide open eyes, confronting the harsh realities of a criminal justice system in deep need of reform.
Like Piper Kerman’s Orange is the New Black, Susanna Kaysen’s Girl Interrupted, and Avi Steinberg’s Running the Books, PRIVILEGE LOST is a deeply personal memoir, with a message of survival and growth that so many can relate to.
